July Challenge: Week 1, The Sleep Rebellions, and Lord Byron Goes to Die

First off, apologies for the delay in posting - Hubstar settled one of his cases and didn't have to prep for trial (yay!) and so we went out of town to visit the in-laws last minute. Only it was fun because I don't have evil in-laws (actually they are really awesome - go ahead, be jealous)

Am I the only on who ever wondered if Focker ever took a moment to ask himself if Pam was really worth it?

And on to the first order of business which is to report that Week 1 has been a success, though admittedly I haven't made it to the gym yet.  We pulled through. We did not cave.

Thursday: Easy. I wasn't cooking, I just had to show up and eat awesome food. My mom, who doesn't/ shouldn't cook (sorry Mama), recently married a guy who is an excellent cook. And much rejoicing was done by all who remembered the egregious food wrongs perpetrated upon us as innocent children...

Breaded coagulated peas, mushy carrots, and 'corn'? Yep - she tried to make us eat these. NEVER FORGET.

Friday: Normally in our house the Hubs and I celebrate Friday Night Thai. We feed Lulu early and order up a heaping helping of Phad Thai and Chicken Satay and I get a Thai Iced Tea. Then we feast and rent a movie from Amazon Prime. It may not have been wild nights out in Rio, but I sure as hell wasn't complaining. We're so regular that once when we ordered on a Wednesday once the lady looked at my husband funny and said "But its not Friday!"

Chicken Satay? Smoked Rat on a Stick? Whatever Thai Chili is still the bomb.

So I was definitely prepared for the hurdle of not getting Thai, but it was actually easier than expected but that may have been because of The Sleep Rebellions (but I'll get to that later)

Saturday: Again, easy since we were visiting in the in-laws. Dad-In-Law made delicious fajitas on the grill.

Sunday: We stuck to the plan and made our roast, baked potatoes, and salad. It was delish. (It's also not expensive and easy to make, I'll post recipe soon)

Delicious Sunday Dinner for Two - only about $9.75 total. It would have been 3 but LuLu was at my Moms'

So - go us. Our grocery bill is about $240 but that includes everything for this week, cleaning supplies, and some of that food will go towards next week. All in all, not bad.

And now onto The Sleep Rebellions...

In previous posts I think I mentioned that Baby J, while adorable, is a cuddle monger.

He's like the Robber Baron of my heart...

Seriously though the kid is a legit Klingon. I think it started because he came 3 weeks early maybe. We should have known we were in trouble when we tried to put him in his co-sleeper basket at 3 days old and he started wigging out.  I cuddled him, nursed him to sleep, put him back - and the wigging out began again. I tried one more time and fail. Because you really can't sit there and let a wee little nibbler have a panic attack because he feels alone. So he wound up sleeping on my chest...

Yep, that about sums it up.

Now, I know I am about to tread deep into the waters of the so-called "Mommy Wars" here but let me preface it with this.

So long as you aren't abusing/neglecting your kid (and we know what that means here folks, putting your baby in something other than organic cloth diaper does not constitute abuse...sorry), putting its health at risk (again, we're talking childhood obesity here and not feeding them frozen food...although those Veggie Sticks were definitely toeing the line), or raising your kid to be a complete asshole, I think whatever you want to do with your own child is fine by me.

Pro tip: If you watch Toddlers and Tiaras and the tantrums remind you of your own kid...you're doing it wrong.

And thus Baby J would sleep with me a lot. (Before you jump down my throat about it - go read the studies, and I don't smoke, drink, use a blanket or otherwise endanger my lovely little boy thank you). We'd keep trying and he'd keep squalling. Swaddling? He'd have none of that. Lullabies? Fine so long as you were still holding him. The expensive and awesome swing we got him? F* that noise Ma!

I would pay good money to have this in an adult size. True Story.

Finally, finally, finally I got him to start spending part of his sleeping time in this cradle rocker thing. It kept him upright and cozy and it was amazing. But still, invariably, he'd want to nurse and wake up and refuse to sleep unless I held him. And again - at only about 6 weeks old I just wasn't willing to let him howl and flip the deuce out.

So I told myself, at 3 months, his happy butt is going to start sleeping in his crib, because as you may have guessed at some point Mama's got to sleep. Like actual sleep.

Here's the thing about sleep... you really need it. To be fair I can actually do fairly well without much sleep. I typically don't go to bed until 2 am generally and if left wholly to my own devices I'll be up till 5 am and then sleep till about 10 or 11. I might be secretly be a vampire...

Of the Lestat variety and less of the shiny vegan variety...

 But after awhile it can get to you. The Justice Campaign has this to say about sleep deprivation: "Sleep deprivation is used by torturers because it makes a person more suggestible, reduces psychological resistance and it reduces the body’s capacity to resist pain. Sleep deprivation is a very effective torture technique"

Ouch.

And while I am definitely not comparing myself to a P.O.W. its worth noting that not sleeping can make you a pretty woggity (technical term) human being, which, in a way, makes babies the cutest inflictors of torment ever.

The Council of Babies has thus far refused to subscribe to the Geneva Convention and is determined to carry on with their plans to break down the wills of parents everywhere.

3 months came and went and he was sort of sleeping in his crib. It was awesome. But then...the cold. The cold that wouldn't go away and meant that the little Bee Boo had to sleep at an incline, so we were back to the rocker and he was back sleeping in our room and he was really REALLY crabby... (please refer to the chart on July Challenge Day 1). Oy.

But things reached a terrifying crescendo last Wednesday with what shall now be called The Sleep Rebellions... Baby J just stopped sleeping.

I am almost not exaggerating here.

He woke up, ate, played and then napped for about 20 minutes. And then was up. Ate, played, napped for maybe 15 minutes and then awoke. Only he was pretty crabby now.  We tried to get him to nap, we really did - but NADA. Not even boobs and cuddling. That kid did not sleep until 12:45 am. And it should be noted that he did not spend those hours of being awake in a content meditative
state.

Yeah, all we got was squalling.

This went on the next 3 nights. But that wasn't all, because suddenly Lulu decided she wanted in on the action and also refused to sleep. Apparently it 'wasn't fair' that Baby J could sleep with us but she had to sleep 'all alone' and also there are wolves in her closet.

Apparently this particular horror was born from watching the above Volvo commercial and listening to Sam the Sham's "Little Red Riding Hood"

It was a coalition of the willing. For 3 days and nights the both of them decided to just be as grumpy and fussy and AWAKE as possible.

And it got to the point where even coffee wasn't enough...

That's right ... I had gone from vampire to zombie

So last night I brought down the Hammer of Thor. Dad and I de-wolved Lulu's bedroom and said when she got back from her Mimi's there would be no more getting out of bed upon pain of not being able to do big girl things  (like sleepovers at Mimi's) and decided that Baby J would sleep in his crib by hook or by crook.

Now this was not my first time at the Stubborn Kid Rodeo. See, for as much as Baby J refuses to sleep, Lulu refused to eat.  She was SO fussy that I talked with about 3 pediatricians who all advised me just to offer only the meal that was being served and she'd get hungry enough and eat.

Wrong. Dead wrong.

She was 4 1/2 and I decided to put an end to meal shenanigans and served her a breakfast of oatmeal and brown sugar (no dice), a lunch of grilled cheese and apple slices (again, nada), and a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs (still wouldn't eat a bit). She had gone the WHOLE day without eating. I offered it over and over again - she said she would only eat chicken nuggets. I figured three pediatricians couldn't be wrong and kept expecting her to cave...

Except instead of a Hunger Strike against inequality it was to protest the abhorrent practice of feeding oatmeal to little girls...

In the end I gave her some toast (which she ate) and the next day she was told if she kept making a fuss over dinner we were going to get rid of all the princess dresses. That did the trick.

Anyhow, put Baby J in his crib and he fussed. We cuddled him, put him back, he fussed. And on the third try he went to bed and slept 6 hours all by himself like it was no big deal.

Like you do...

Meanwhile in addition to going out the in-laws this weekend we bought some fish. After the heartbreak of denying Lulu the unnamed yet amazing puppy we were excited to finally pick up the fish for the fish tank we bought last week.

We bought four fish...and Lulu named them. She named them "Pretty", "Sparkle", "Diamond Shine", and "Sparkle Diamond Rainbow".

What can I say, even when she's playing Ninja she still has to have some bling

And yes, that's a ninja and not Michael Jackson. It's OK, I was confused too..

The fish all immediately took the tank. Except 'Pretty' the Angelfish. He just sort of sunk to the bottom and bobbed. Hubs and I were pretty sure he was going to die - only he didn't. We were surprised.

Next morning Hubs told me Pretty had died but when I went to look it was just sort of hanging out behind the filter and was still alive. Hubstar nudged it with the fish net and it swam into the pirate ship.  We fed the fish...it lounged and ate lazily and returned to the ship. So I decided to name it Lord Byron.

Lord Byron is too angsty for picture taking

I keep checking it but he's still alive. And he's alive in this way that just seems super dramatic. Like "I'm alive now, and I am probably dying of consumption, but I suffer to myself in a pit of my own black despair."  The other fish aren't nearly as interesting.

Well, one last thought before I post and move on to week 2 of the July Challenge which will hopefully involve some gym going - bet you didn't know Lord Byron reported slept with his half sister and collected bits of all his lover's hair...

Or maybe you did if your Romantic British Lit professor subjected you to the same Byron documentary which was so horrible and obscure I can't even find it on the internet...