July Challenge Day 13: And This is Why I'm Fat

There is a website called This Is Why You're Fat. If you haven't seen it - you should check it out. It is an orgy of food that is practically preparing the first degree murder of your arteries.

This is a Cronut. A croissant donut. It makes me ashamed, but I'd probably eat that.

A lot of the foods on there are things made by depraved calorie hoarding individuals at home

A bacon mug filled with cheddar. Perhaps..too much bacon? I think I just blasphemed

 But a healthy (har har) chunk come from restaurants which was a large part of why we started the July Challenge not to eat out. Take Cheesecake Factory for instance - it tops almost every list of foods with the most calories ever.  Their French Toast Napoleon has something like 2300 calories.

It even looks like a crime scene.

But even when you're eating in you can still do a number on yourself. I gained a WHOLE pound from yesterday morning to yesterday evening apparently. The culprit of course being an awesome pool party at my friend Sydney and Chris's parents house laden with some of the best food ever. Food I did not photograph because I was too busy eating it and having a great time.

We're actually doing great on our July Challenge. No eating out. Its kind of shocking - but also pretty fantastic. In a pleasant way its been kind of natural - kind of like breaking a bad habit. There has been temptation but we've fought it. When said friends suggested we get take out this Friday when we get together we were almost like 'Yay! Friday Night Thai!" but then we remembered...

No Thai.

Buuuut admittedly I am sucking it up hardcore at the gym portion. I haven't even gone once. Man that's lame. And the worst part is I don't even rea-lly have an excuse. Well, I have tons but they are all crap.

So I'm kind of sitting here trying to figure out why.

Then clearly my Federal Taxation Professor had NO idea what he was talking about...

And there a couple key things that I am coming up with.

1. Fat is a weird concept. Pretty much every woman who has had a baby (except Gisele Bundchen) thinks she's fat. Oh and pretty much every woman who hasn't had a baby thinks she's fat too. That's a lot of fat. And fat is a nasty word that makes people feel like crap. And yet being 'skinny' isn't the pinnacle of beauty either.

Adele: definitely not skinny. Definitely crazy gorgeous.

Yet 'fat' exists (read: medically obese) and it really isn't good. It's dangerous and unhealthy to carry a bunch of excess weight and you feel really sluggish. But I'd venture to say that most of the women who think they're fat aren't actually obese.

But you know that distinction doesn't exactly make you feel better when you put on a bikini

I think its OK to kind of want to punch her - but only because she's a smug bitch

2. I don't think I look that bad. Don't get me wrong - the clunky thighs, the lack of flat stomach, and the fact that I only fit into about 50% of my pre-pregnancy clothes really drives me nuts. But I'm at that odd phase where I'm not totally horrified about how I look but yet still feel flabby and gross. It doesn't really make sense.

I've been trying to get back to my 'fighting weight' by tracking using reverse milestones:

Pre-Birth Weight: 159 (bed rest BLOWS)
Immediate Post-Birth Weight: 147
Highest Pre-Baby Number 1 Weight: 134 (courtesy of eating lots of McDonald's in undergrad)
Current Weight: 129.3 
Post-Bar Exam/ Pre-Baby Number 2 Weight: 126 (someone ate A LOT of junk while studying Con Law)
'Normal Weight' - 119 (maintained this roughly for the last three years- you know before I screwed it up being a lump while I studied)
All Time Best Holy Crap I look Hot Weight:  112 (It was at age 28 after baby number 1 so it is possible!!!)

See? Right in the middle. It's bad, but not so awful that I can't stand the mirror. So that urgency to work out is sort of like - meh. Maybe.

Or a velociraptor...that'd probably work too...

3. My stinking husband keeps feeding me positive reinforcement like telling me I'm hot and he loves me and I'm beautiful and crap (I eat it up - not going to lie).

The other morning he made a run to the grocery store to grab me a coffee and get donuts (and it doesn't matter how many times I tell him 'DON'T GET ME A DONUT' he does...and I eat it. The shame.). And he comes back and tells me they were out of my favorite donut. And I was like - yes! There will be no donut of shame this morning!!

It's easy to resist when it's not in front of you!!!

But you know what that man did? He bought me a plain donut just in case AND a banana nut muffin AND two (seriously two) asiago bagels AND a bag of my favorite orange gummy slices. I mean wow.  If that isn't a big old pile of 'I'm a-ok with how you look' I don't know what is.

Either that or he is actively trying to fatten me up...

....no. Right? Naw...

You know the truth is that I don't feel like I need to be rail thin. I don't think weighing 90 lbs soaking wet is the only way to be beautiful, you know, I just want to be comfy in my own skin. And we all know there is really one reason we work out...

You know, so if the hubster is all about me...

So I think the fact is that I just need to kick myself in the pants and go. Just go the gym. It's nearby. It has babysitting which it completely affordable. I just need to go. Sigh.

Anyone else having fun finding the motivation to work out? Running into similar obstacles? Figured out how to get in awesome shape so you don't feel like an out of shape slug?