How Not to Make Caramel

How Not to Make Caramel: A Cautionary Tale

To be fair:

1. This is not my kitchen

2. I did not actually take a picture of the fire, because, you know, I was sort of more concerned with not burning down the house...

Ok, so.  I've been cooking/baking/playing mad kitchen scientist since I was about seven. And while my early endeavors weren't fantastic and while I wouldn't call myself a pro, I'm pretty good in the kitchen.

I rate myself somewhere in here:

On second thought, am I really better than Swedish Chef? I might be reaching...

 

In all that time I really haven't had any major kitchen accidents. 

But then I had a baby. Well, to be fair, a second baby because I don't remember baby number one messing with my cooking. (Sorry James)

So, if you are reading this perhaps you have read about my Epic Chocolate Cake which requires making caramel sauce. In that post I outlined the proper way to make caramel sauce, but here is how I screwed it up in a big kind of way...which goes to show no matter how good you may think you are (not me, not me at all...*cough*) it doesn't do to get cocky.

It started out great. Mixed it all up all nice. Thought * maybe* I should use a bigger pan. 

Aww, its cooking up so nicely here

It was going well

This is about when I should have pulled it

....then baby started wailing. And I got distracted. And husband (who is perfectly capable of doing it himself) was cuddling screaming baby, but I just couldn't let it be could I? Noooooo I had to go stick my nose in things and walk away from the stove and see to baby....

(By the way I should note while I'm typing this my husband is silently tip-toe dancing/ cursing/ punching the air around the house freaking out about the last minutes of the Spurs/Heat Game 6 while trying not to wake the kids and its really damn hilarious)

And ...

That don't look good

So I pulled it. Right on to a puddle of water on the stove. Which popped and sounded all scary. Baby still screaming. So I yanked it off the water. Only then the caramel splashed out and immediately caught fire...

It was something like this:

Ok it was nothing like this.

I was like:

Luckily my husband was like

I shall crush the fire...with my abs.

And James was something like this:

Oh, sorry Mom you wanted to cook? (and that is actually my kiddo)

Still smokin' hot...

So yeah. There was that. I think the take away from this is:

1. NEVER walk away from caramel

2. And should you happen to somehow manage to create rock hard sugar that seems permanently affixed to your nice ceramic cook-top the proper method of removal is to use a rag and hot water to melt the sugar off. 

3. NEVER walk away from caramel.

The End.